Let the Children Lead – Thoughts on Positive Mimesis
I officiated my Brother-in-Law’s wedding last Sunday. My Wife’s brother was married on August 27th. And to one awesome Woman. She’s great. He’s great. And it was a great weekend, filled with family, friends, and joy.
Eight years ago, I bawled at my wedding. Yup. I’m man enough to admit it. I was waterworks. Tears streamed down my face as my future Wife walked down the aisle, and the tears continued as we stood there, facing each other. Fortunately, I held it together for my Brother-in-Law. It went without a hitch, er, without a tear streaming down my face. I did what pastors do at weddings: I said some God stuff, some Bible stuff, some marriage stuff, and had a little sermon. They said their vows and kissed at the wrong time. As they went in, people were all, “Nooo!” But I figured, to hell with tradition. It’s their wedding. It’s their day. They can kiss whenever they want to kiss. So, they got to kiss twice at their wedding. The more kissing at a wedding, the better. As long as they don’t last longer than three seconds. That’s my time limit. Longer than three seconds and I call the wedding off. FYI.
For me, the only thing that really matters at a wedding is that the Bride and Groom say, “I do.” Despite my Brother-in-Law asking me about 45 seconds before the wedding, “Dude, do you think I’m doing the right thing?” and then laughing in my face when I said, “Uhh…” (he’s a very funny guy) they both said “I do.” So, it was a success. Everything else either doesn’t matter or is icing on the (wedding) cake.
My favorite icing at the wedding was on the dance floor. My Wife and I have two Boys. They are, of course, amazing, especially when they dance. So, after the ceremony, we all went to the back lawn for the reception. There was a 10 x 10 wooden dance floor. The DJ was playing music, but for the first half hour no one was dancing. Then the Boys found the floor. And they danced.
It was awesome.
Forgive me for adding theory to this, but that’s what I do. It was beautifully mimetic. Our mimetic nature means we are open to suggestion from one another. Before the Boys were dancing, dancing wasn’t an option for people. It would have been awkward. But the Boys didn’t care what anyone thought. They just wanted to have a good time. The adults at the reception needed a model to show us it was okay to dance. My Boys were the model. They were smiling the whole time. And when the flower girl and the bridesmaids joined them, they were all smiles, too.
I have a habit of capitalizing Wife, Boys, etc. It’s because the Wife doesn’t want me using Her real name. But she does deserve to be capitalized. So, there you go.