After putting our boys to bed, my wife and I usually head down to our basement to relax. Typically, we have a conversation about our day, then check our email, I’ll do some social networking, and then watch about an hour of television.
Last night we watched the season finale of The Bachelorette. In case you missed it, this season’s bachelorette, Ali Fedotowsky chose Roberto Martinez to be her fiancé. Roberto dropped to one knee and proposed on the spot. During the finale interview, Ali and Roberto sat together, beaming with love. When Chris Harrison asked if they had started to plan their wedding, Ali said, “Sometime next summer.” Roberto responded, “I like spring weddings.”
Isn’t that adorable?
On my drive to work this morning, I began thinking about the Bachelorette and the scapegoat mechanism. First, I want to say that most reality television has some form of scapegoating. I don’t want to scapegoat the Bachelorette. Let’s be honest, scapegoating makes for good television.
There were 25 men vying for Ali. In order to pick Roberto, Ali had to reject 24 other guys – usually for no reason other than her feelings toward them. They didn’t deserve to be sent home. They were innocent and, thus, we could call them scapegoats. Indeed, it makes for good television, because we love the drama. We love to watch as someone endures the embarrassment of being rejected, packing his bags, and is sent home . . . “in the most shocking rose ceremony ever.”
Rene Girard’s hypothesis states that human culture is based on the scapegoat principle. Human culture was relatively slow to form for one basic problem: conflicts among individuals led to a battle of all against all. No culture could form, because individuals couldn’t cooperate with each other. These early groups could only self-destruct, until they found a sense of unity. That unity came with the discovery of the scapegoat mechanism. The conflicts that led to a war of all against all were re-directed so that the war became all against one. The community was able to escape their own conflicts by blaming an individual for all the problems within the community. He or she was rejected, banished, or killed. After the scapegoating incident, a sense of peace, calm, and cooperation hovered over the community. Out of that sense of tranquility, the first human cultures formed, but culture could not break free from the scapegoat mechanism. The scapegoating incident became a scapegoating ritual whenever conflicts arose. Someone had to be blamed, banished, or killed. Scapegoating has become mechanical, hence, the term “scapegoat mechanism.”
Girard claims that the scapegoat mechanism has infected human cultures ever since. I don’t want to scapegoat The Bachelorette, for nearly every reality show is infected by scapegoating. I understand why the shows are successful. Scapegoating is addictive. For a moment, viewers gain a sense of peace, calm, and cooperation as we escape our own conflicts by entering into the conflicts of the show.
I get that. But I worry that it is self destructive. Gaining a sense of peace, calm, and cooperation by gossiping, banishing, or killing another will never lead to true peace. Only love can do that. Not an ephemeral romantic love among two (admittedly adorable) individuals who say “I do” at the end of a reality show. Rather, the only love that can bring lasting peace is a love that seeks to include those we’d rather “send home.”
