The Raven Foundation

I don’t want people to misunderstand me, so I want to be clear from the beginning. I in no way want to defend the sexual transgressions of Tiger Woods. I hope he will take personal responsibility for his actions and find the help he needs to deal with his past.  I also hope that Elin Nordegren, Woods’ wife, and their two children will be able to find the healing they need to deal with this situation.

It is easy to blame Tiger for cheating on his wife, Elin. Personally, it makes me sick. My stomach becomes queasy as more and more allegations of affairs surface. A feeling of self-righteous indignation comes over me as I read news websites informing the world about “TigerGate.”

That’s when I know I need to step away from the Internet. There is always a good chance that whenever I feel self-righteous indignation I’m missing the bigger picture.

The United States has a hyper-sexed culture. For example, take the cultural phrase, “If it feels good to you, do it.” That phrase infects everyone living in the United States. (I don’t think that’s much of a hyperbole.) In other words, you have the freedom to do whatever feels good to you, including sexual acts. We sense that there is something wrong with this phrase, so we sometimes add to it, “as long as you aren’t hurting anyone.” This allows us to neglect the complexities inherent in the statement. The problem is that our actions hurt people in multiple ways that aren’t always easy to observe: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Another problem is that we get absorbed in “What feels good to us” and neglect other people that are involved in our actions. Take another phrase: “What two consenting adults do in bed is of no concern to me.” Really? Then why do so many of us get upset when Tiger Woods has sex with another consenting adult (or ten other consenting adults)? Because we know that more people are affected than Tiger and his sex partners – his wife, his children, his fans.

Sex is everywhere in our culture. You can’t drive on a major highway in this country without seeing a scantily clad woman on a billboard. I can’t watch television without being told that women are sex objects for my personal pleasure. Right now on Facebook page there is an ad that asks, “Who Has Googled You?” with an image of a young blond female with breasts the size of basketballs sitting in front of a bed. Could anyone miss that message? Ironically, Facebook knows that I am a youth pastor, and the ad below the “Who Has Googled You” ad is an advertisement for a Young Women’s Conference called “Awaken.” The ad states, “Attn: Youth Pastors! It’s time for young women to rise up and step into all that God has called them to be! Come join us for the Awaken Conference!” Apparently women are called to be both holy and the object of my sexual fantasy.

I am caught in the same cultural trap that caught Tiger Woods. That trap is a double bind.  “Look, but don’t touch,” is a pernicious phrase that points to that double bind. The truth is that once someone has looked, it’s very difficult not to touch. It is naïve to think otherwise.

Sarah Palin confuses me.

Palin stated in her resignation speech on Friday, July 3^rd that, “People who know me know that that besides faith and family, nothing’s more important to me than our beloved Alaska.” She went on to list an impressive array of accomplishments her administration has achieved during her short stint as Governor of Alaska. You may be asking a similar question: If she loves Alaska so much, and if she has been such an effective Governor, why is she resigning?

The media.

“But you don’t hear much of the good stuff in the press anymore, do you?” asks Palin in her speech. She claims that time spent defending herself against media attacks “hasn’t been cheap – the State has wasted THOUSANDS of hours of YOUR time and shelled out some two million of YOUR dollars to respond to ‘opposition research’ – that’s money NOT going to fund teachers or troopers – or safe roads.”

She claims to be the victim of the media, but the media is largely responsible for her fame. The more she claims the morally superior status of victim, the more attention the media gives her. It seems as though Palin and the media have a mutually beneficial relationship. Palin needs the media because the media keeps her relevant. The media loves Palin, because, let’s just admit it, she makes for good television.

This leads me to question Palin’s sincerity when she claims the role of victim.

Was it necessary that the State defend Palin against the media? Of course not. That wasn’t the media’s fault. The wasted hours and two million dollars spent to respond do “opposition research” (whatever that means) is Palin’s responsibility. Maybe the most responsible thing she could have done was to resign. It seems as though she couldn’t handle the heat, so she got out of the kitchen.

Near the end of her speech, Palin quoted some wisdom posted on her parents’ refrigerator door, “Don’t explain: your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe you anyway.” I don’t think of myself as an enemy of Palin, but I have a hard time believing her explanation. It seems too convenient and self-deceptive.

Do you believe that the nasty media has driven Palin out of her beloved Alaska?

“I knew Michael as a child and watched him grow over the years. Of the thousands of entertainers I have worked with, Michael was THE most outstanding. Many have tried and will try to copy him, but his talent will never be matched. He was truly one-of-a-kind.”

-Dick Clark