Hilton responded the next day that “a beauty queen should represent all Americans, and with her answer, she instantly was divisive and alienated millions of gays and lesbians, their families, their friends, and supporters.”

Hilton was upset because he thought Miss Prejean was being intolerant of gays and lesbians. And, as a good liberal, Hilton must stand up to intolerance – with even more intolerance! This is the trap we all get ourselves in. Hilton stands up for the truth as he sees it, a truth that means he must exclude those who disagree with him. Miss Prejean stands up for the truth as she sees it, a truth that means she must exclude those who disagree with her. Neither side seems to be open to the other, so the scandal continues with accusations of “liberal” and “conservative” intolerance. The truth coming out of this scandal, I think, is that we are all intolerant. Human beings have a desire to be right, and we stubbornly hold on to that desire with great tenacity, seeking to exclude those who disagree. This leads us into a competition of escalating rivalry and exclusion. Thus, we never have a discussion about gay marriage. All we have are competing accusations of the other side being wrong. Maybe the way out of this trap is to admit the possibility of being wrong. Admitting that possibility takes tremendous courage. After all, who wants to be wrong?

The good thing about intolerance is that it is universal. All of us are included in the desire to be right and exclude the “other.” When we realize that intolerance is a universal human phenomenon, we can begin the process of admitting the possibility of being wrong. Only then we can be open to what James Alison calls, “The Joy of Being Wrong.”