The Raven Foundation

The United States of America is under attack.  America has an enemy that will stop at nothing until it defeats our way of life.  If you are afraid of any possible threat to our way of life posed by Islamism, or China, or the European economic crisis, or the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction, well, those are all child’s play when compared to this threat.

You may be wondering, “Just who is attacking the United States?”  According to the conservative website Caucus for America, which is “dedicated to the preservation and promotion of the historic American civilization,” liberals are to blame.  Liberals are attacking the religious core at the heart of America’s way of life.  The secular Left, which, according to the website, has contaminated protestant Christianity, “knows that the only way to destroy the America we’ve known is by destroying the Christianity, the Judeo-Christian ethic, which has made it great.”  The Left is attacking America’s soul from the inside.  If this was an enemy from the outside our borders, “We would have raised our swords” against this threat.

That’s pretty serious.  But, there’s more.  According to the progressive website Common Dreams, it’s not the Left who is attacking America; it’s the Right.  And you should be very afraid of the policies those demons would legislate if they were to gain power.  “It’s very possible that Mr. XY Zombie Republican could seize power in November, with the backing of endlessly deep pockets like the Koch brothers, Big Energy, and Big Finance, and the blessing of the Supreme Court.”

As I read these equally hysterical but completely opposite viewpoints, I realized they had something in common that is more profound than their panic and fear.  Whether on the Right or the Left, the American way of life many of us are so eager to defend involves demonizing and shaming others so that you aren’t the one demonized and shamed.  Attack!  Attack so that the attention is on your opponent’s deficiencies and not on yours.  Seriously?  “Zombie Republican”?!?  Are you kidding me?  It’s sophomoric and certainly not progressive.  And the suggestion that we should raise our swords against the Left to protect our American way of life is an American way of life that I reject.

And so I’m attacking this American way of life.  Yes.  I’m attacking it because it’s pathetic.  It’s banal and I think it’s time for us to grow up.  The Left and the Right justify the demonization of one another in the name of protecting America.  And they both look pathetically similar.  The Left and the Right are caught up in a mimetic rivalry, where both sides assert differences where no difference exists.  They are exactly the same.  They both claim the mantle of righteousness while they demonize the other.  It is, apparently, what America is all about.

Indeed, it’s pathetic and weak.  It makes us into cowards because the American way of life that demonizes the other conveniently blinds us to our own faults.  It takes courage to look deep within ourselves and critique our own failings.  Under our current way of life, we will never have that kind of courage because we are possessed.  Make no mistake - when the bible talks about demon possession, it’s not talking about an archaic misunderstanding that our ancestors had about humanity.  No.  They had a much more powerful anthropology than we moderns do.  When we accuse others of being a demon (or a Zombie), when we blame the other for all of our cultural problems, we become instantly blind to our own demons.  You can be damn sure that you are possessed by a demon if are inciting fear of Liberals and accusing Republicans of being “Zombies.”

I’m attacking this American way of life because I demand better.  The American way of life that mimics accusations against one another needs to stop because it will destroy us.  I have little hope that politicians, the media, and bloggers have the power to change this pattern.  I do have hope, though.  I have hope that people like you and I can change.  We don’t have accuse one another.  We are not enslaved to a way of life that demonizes and shames our family members, our neighbors, our co-workers, or even those we call our enemies.  We must say no to that way of life, because only when we say no to that way of life can we be empowered to say yes to a way of life that respect opposing views and values dialogue over demonization.

When the American way of life emphasizes that spirit, I will stop my attack.

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Adam discusses a scene from Spiderman, where Uncle Ben says a proverb: "With great power comes great responsibility." This proverb guides Peter Parker as he fights crime in his role as Spiderman. The Bible has a book called Proverbs, in which parents are instructed to provide wisdom to their children. There are two paths, one of justice, compassion, and love, and another path of wickedness and violence. Which path will we go down? Paul picks this idea up when he talks about Jesus. According to Paul, God was reconciling the world to Godself through Jesus. We have the power to participate, or not participate, in God's work of reconciliation.

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Did Jesus come to abolish religion? Should we hate religion? In a video posted to youtube last week titled "Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus" Jefferson Bethke argues Jesus did come to abolish religion and that we are justified to hate religion. But is that true? A close look at the life of Jesus says something very different.

To view Bethke's video, click here.

We live much of our lives in fear.  We fear being exposed as frauds.  We project to the world an image of ourselves that’s not entirely true in an attempt to gain the approval of others.  We conceal the bad, dirty, and ugly parts of ourselves and project other parts of ourselves that we think people will perceive as good, clean, and beautiful.

But there is another aspect of this self-deceptive pattern that is even more devious.  We have a tendency to project onto others the bad, dirty, and ugly parts of ourselves.  To paraphrase René Girard, “We are most indignant at the evil of others by which we ourselves are consumed” (Deceit, Desire, and the Novel, 73).

Few of us are immune from this pattern of self-deception.  It’s an infectious social disease that permeates human culture and it is on full national display during political season as we inspect and scrutinize candidates.  We saw it televised on Monday night at the Republican national debate.

The 24 hour news channels have been running the highlight of that debate since Monday evening.  (You can see the video below.)  It started when Fox News moderator Juan Williams asked Newt Gringrich a question about a claim Gingrich made while campaigning in Iowa.  Gingrich stated last November that "Black Americans should demand jobs, not food stamps."  He also claimed that “Really poor children in really poor neighborhoods have no habits of working and nobody around them who works.  So they literally have no habit of showing up on Monday.  They have no habit of staying all day.  They have no habit of ‘I do this and you give me cash,’ unless it’s illegal.”

Williams asked, “Can’t you see that this is viewed at a minimum as insulting to all Americans, but particularly to black Americans?”

As Gingrich replied, “No, I don’t see that,” the audience erupted in approval.  Williams then asked if the comments were “intended to belittle the poor and racial minorities.”

“First of all, Juan,” Gingrich rather belittlingly responded, “the fact is that more people have been put on food stamps by Barack Obama than any president in American history.  Now, I know among the politically correct you’re not supposed to use facts that are uncomfortable.”  He went on to claim that liberal “elites despise earning money” and that he wants to help people “learn how to get a job, learn how to get a better job and learn someday to own the job.”  The all white audience loved the confrontation and enthusiastically cheered for Gingrich.  After the debate Gingrich explained the enthusiasm by stating, “There was a spontaneous sense that somebody finally had the courage to just tell the truth about how we’ve got to go about helping people…”

The point I’d like to emphasize here is Williams’ term “racial minorities.”  Williams has been criticized by many on the right for asking a racially loaded question, while many on the left praise him for stating the obvious and then accuse Gingrich of being a racist.  Now, I don’t know if Gingrich is a racist, but Williams did ask a racially loaded question and race was an obvious issue at the debate.  Williams was the only black person in the room, and I specifically mention “the all white audience” because the incident exposed an uncomfortable truth about American self-deception when it comes to race and racism.

It has been said that slavery is America’s original sin, but America’s original sin is deeper than slavery, for only black people were enslaved.  The end of slavery did not end racism, nor did it end its counterpart, white supremacy.  Both continued through the practice of lynching and segregation.  It is a bad, dirty, and ugly part of American history that we would rather sweep under our cultural rug by ignoring its impact on modern American society.  “We don’t have race issues anymore,” many argue.  “We have economic issues.”  There is some truth in that statement.  Poverty doesn’t discriminate between races.  But my personal experience, which is confirmed by the experience of Monday’s debate, is that racism still plays a huge role in our culture. If we are ever going to move beyond racism in our country, we need an honest discussion about how it continues to infect our lives.

So, let’s be honest.  I’m infected with racism.  Like the all white audience at the debate in South Carolina, I live in a mostly white world.  I can go throughout my day without ever seeing a black person.  My neighborhood is an all white suburb just north of Chicago, my church is 95% white, and when I shop I see white faces.  The only time when I see black people is when I venture to Chicago, where many neighborhoods are all black.

Segregation is illegal, but don’t be deceived – whether you live in the North or the South, the United States continues to be segregated.  We have an implicitly segregated society, and segregation, whether explicit or implicit, fosters racist attitudes.  And here’s the ugly truth we don’t want to admit: we like it that way.  Because of our self-deception, we would rather not deal with the bad, dirty, and ugly truth of racism that continues to infect our nation.  We would rather show our indignation toward those racists out there than deal with the racism that infects us.

Is Newt infected by the evil pattern of racism?  Probably.  But so am I.  When it comes to racism, we cannot afford to be neutral.  Any accusations of racism that I levy against Newt will be an attempt to conceal my own pattern of racism.  That pattern needs to be transformed by a different pattern: the pattern of intentional acts of solidarity with people of other races.  Those intentional acts might include advocating for and participating in local intercultural events, seeking friendships with people of other races, and moving to a more diverse neighborhood.  These intentional acts, and others like them, are our only hope for overcoming America’s implicit segregation and continued racism.  Until we have the courage to live in the pattern of solidarity, segregation and racism will continue to infect American culture.

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What do you think was the primary cause of the American Civil War?  States' rights, slavery, tariffs, or Lincoln’s presidency are the most common answers.  But they all conceal the true underlying cause of the conflict that may still haunt American life today.  Watch Suzanne and Adam’s video “The Civil War and Martin Luther King Jr: Where Do We Stand Today?” and join the conversation by leaving a comment. 

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What can superheroes teach us about being human? The Psychology of Superheroes is an interesting book that relates superhero powers to everyday human beings. In this video, Adam discusses the superhero power of mind reading. William Ickes, professor of psychology at the University of Texas in Arlington, claims that science is not able to prove humans can read other's minds the way superheroes can, but that we can infer what others are thinking. We can do that consciously when we listen and try to understand others, and when we interpret body language. We also infer what others are thinking and feeling through mirror neurons - nerve cells in the brain that fire when we perform an action and when we see others perform the action. Mirror neurons unconsciously mimic the actions other's perform - it's as if we are performing them too. What does all this mean for theology? Jesus, on the cross, says, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." The anthropological truth is that, because of mirror neurons, we are unconscious of many of the things we do. But Jesus offers a way of consciously offering forgiveness to others. Jesus offers forgiveness in imitation of God and invites us to do the same.

Chills run down my spine whenever I see athletes thank God for a victory or for a good play.  It’s because I think our God-talk matters.  Our prayers matter.  When God is thanked for a victory or a great play, it reveals something significant about the kind of God we believe in.  It reveals that we believe in the “God of Victory.”  That God sides with the powerful, with the winners.  Of course, athletes aren’t the only people who hold to this theology – many politicians, generals, business-people, and pastors believe in the God of Victory, too.

Here’s part of my problem – I like the “God of Victory,” too.  He (and usually it’s a He) leads us in battle against our opponents, and if we do all the right things, that God will ensure our victory.  I find this God very enticing.  Indeed, I want this God on my side.  The problem is, if I’m going to invoke this God, I have to reject the God revealed through Jesus Christ.  You can’t have the “God of Victory” and the God of Jesus at the same time.  Jesus sided with the outcasts of culture, especially the outcasts of religious culture.  He didn’t go out and bless the successful, he specifically blessed the losers, the outcasts, the marginalized.  The religious establishment claimed that if you were a loser – if you were poor, or diseased, or blind – that God had cursed you and it was your own fault because you sinned.  (See John chapter 9.)  Jesus went to those losers and he healed them.  He treated them like they were important, because, for Jesus, they were important.  Matthew chapter 4 puts this succinctly.  The first thing Jesus did in his ministry was to go, “throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and curing every disease and every sickness among the people.”   Here we see that Jesus stood in solidarity with the losers.

All that being said, I love Tim Tebow.  This is more than just a Christian “you-should-love-your-neighbor-even-if-they-annoy-you” kind of love.  I’m talkin’ man-crush kind of love.  Yup.  Me and the Tebow.  He’s becoming one of my models.  Here’s why: Tobow is bold and I wish I had some of his audacious faith.  He risks his reputation by putting himself out there because of his faith.  When many fellow Christians and many non-Christians began to turn against him for praying before, during, and after football games, I felt sympathy for him.  I mean, I’m sure Tebow is concerned about what others think about him, but I think it’s pretty cool that he’s more concerned about praying.  I can tell you this: I wish I had some of his boldness.

Here’s the other reason I like Tebow: he’s forced me to re-think those chills that run down my spine when I see athletes pray.  Those chills mean something about my God-talk, too.  I can get pretty judgmental in my theology, turning the God who sides with the losers of culture into another “God of Victory” who uses power to defeat the winners of culture.  Indeed, there’s an important place for prophetic critique of cultural power systems, but as I break out my inner prophet, I need to acknowledge that I participate in, and benefit from, many of those cultural power systems that create losers.

Ultimately, I don’t know what Tebow is praying for.  Is he praying for victory?  Is he praying that no one gets hurt?  Is he praying for the six million children who die every year from hunger?  And is he using his money and influence to help solve those kinds of problems?

I don’t know.  And frankly, if I’m asking those kinds of questions to find out whether or not he is a “good Christian” I risk scapegoating him.  I risk putting him down as a “bad Christian” so I can feel better about my own participation in power systems, and feel better about my feeble attempts to transform those power systems.  If I’m going to ask those questions of Tebow and other athletes, I need to ask them of myself, too.  What am I doing to help solve those problems?  Not enough.  How often do I turn a blind eye to the suffering in my church?  In my neighborhood?  In my state?  In my country?  In the world?  All too often.

So, I’d say this to my man-crush:  keep praying, Tim.  Regardless of what you are praying for, keep praying.  Because whether you realize it or not, when you pray, you pray to the God who sides with the “losers” of our world.  Because that’s the only God there is.  If it hasn’t happened yet, that God will seize you sooner or later, and I pray that that God seizes me, too.

The Wife left.  She left and I was all alone … with our two Boys …

NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Okay.  They might look like angels in their Christmas shirt and tie, but you know there’s gonna be trouble whenever a Dad (especially this Dad) is left with his two Boys.

The Wife had to leave early this morning for a business trip.  She was out the door by 7:15 with hugs, kisses, and goodbyes.  Then the door shut.  I walked to the kitchen and peered through the window as She slowly backed the Odyssey out of our driveway.  Our eyes met and we waved.  She then drove off.  I took a sip of coffee and a deep breath to prepare myself for my morning’s fate.

The Wife is my model for good parenting.  She gets how it all works.  I can be pretty dense, but usually after three or four, okay, usually ten times of observing her amazing parenting skills, they begin to sink in.  For example, I’ve learned from observing her that transitions are often easier if the Boys know what to expect.  They’re not so good with surprises.  (Frankly, neither am I.  I get frustrated whenever someone obstructs my plans with something unexpected.  Like that time when my car got in that accident and obstructed my evening plans.  But that’s another story.)  “Okay, Boys,” she’ll say as we’re driving in the car.  “We’re going to the store, then to the children’s museum, then home for lunch, and then we’re going to take naps.”

I love naps.

So I decided to give it a try.  The Boys were watching “Mickey Mouse Funhouse” in our basement. (Btw, did you know that Pete, the big giant cat, is no longer a bad guy?  Yeah.  They’re all friends.  They work together to solve problems.  Since Boy 1 arrived five years ago, I’ve discovered that they don’t make cartoons like they used to.) We walked down to the basement and I gave Boy 1 and Boy 2 our morning game plan: “Okay Fellas.  Here’s what’s going to happen.  I’m going to shower.  Then I’m going to get dressed.  Then I’ll help you get dressed.  Then I’m going to brush my teeth.  Then we’ll put on shoes and jackets, and then we’re going to school.  Got it?”

Okay.  This strategy works really well, unless you completely FAIL, which I did.   There is such a thing as was too much detail for children age 5 and 3.  Boy 1 looked me in the eyes and nodded.  Boy 2 gazed off into distant space, but he nodded too.  He usually lives in his own little Boy 2 world, so I decided his nod was good enough.  I went upstairs, leaving them with their temporary babysitters, Mickey and Pete.

I did everything in order, careful not to make any surprises.  Quick shower, got dressed, got them dressed, brushed my teeth, and then told them it was time to go to the living room to put on our shoes and jackets.  Boy 1 went without a hitch.  Boy 2 apparently wanted to stay in Boy 2 world with Mickey and Pete.

“NO!” he yelled.

I thought to myself, “Ahh, man.  Where’s the Wife?”  But I stayed calm and remembered another one of the Wife’s tricks.  She acknowledges their emotions.   It works.  When children (and adults) are able to name their negative emotions, it gives them a sense of empowerment with them.  You can’t deal with emotions that you can’t name.  And another point about emotions: most of us like to have our emotions acknowledged by others.  It gives us a sense self-worth and builds a sense of connection.   Having someone compassionately acknowledge our frustrations usually helps calm us down.

“Okay, Boy 2.  I see you are sad.  Are you sad?”

“NO!” he yelled

Wait!  Why wasn’t this working?  It always works when the Wife does it.  So, I tried again.  “Oh.  Are you mad?”

“NO!”

“Well, Boy 2,” I replied.  “It’s time to go to school and I’m going to be late for work if we don’t start leaving.  I see that you don’t want to go.  I acknowledge that.  But we need to go.”

He continued to refuse, so I decided to give him options.  (Another trick I learned from the Wife.  Options make children feel like they have some power in a situation.  Giving options to children [and to adults] can diffuse a power struggle.  Unless you’re already knee-deep in one.  Then you’re pretty much screwed, as I was here.)  “Boy 2.  We need to go.  Are you going to walk upstairs and put your shoes and jacket on, or do I need to carry you?”

“NO!”

He screamed and kicked as I carried him up the stairs, through our kitchen, and into our living room.  I put him down to help Boy 1 with his shoes.  As I sat there tying the laces, Boy 2 decided he wanted to play tag, so he ran behind the coffee table.

“You can’t catch me.  You can’t catch me.”  He was mocking me.

And I was getting pretty frustrated!  “Boy 2,” I said as calmly as I could.  “I need to put your shoes on you.”  Remembering that options are good, I said, “Would you like your ‘fast shoes’ or your ‘slow shoes’?”

^{Fast shoes and slow shoes.}

“NO!”  (Didn’t see that one coming, did you?)

“Okay,” I responded.  “If you don’t pick, I’ll pick for you.”

“NO!”

I picked the slow shoes, because they don’t have laces, but he continued to run around the table.  After a bit of chasing, I caught him.  There was no use putting his shoes on him, he would just kick them off.  I was getting late for work, so I picked him up and carried him to the car.  As he kicked and screamed, I opened the door, put him in his car seat, and buckled him in.

I backed out of our driveway and Boy 2 screamed, “I WANT MY FAST SHOES!!!!!”

I stopped the car, looked back at Boy 2, and replied, “Boy 2.  Are you sad that you don’t have your fast shoes?”

“YES!!!!”

“Okay.  I gave you the options of wearing your fast shoes or your slow shoes.  I told you that if you didn’t pick, I’d pick for you.  You didn’t pick, so I picked your slow shoes.”

Whimper.  It was a whimper.  Not a yell.  A whimper isn’t good, but it’s better than an ear piercing “NO!”

“Boy 2,” I said.  “I see that you’re sad.  But next time you can pick your fast shoes.  Okay?”

“Okay.”

“NICE!!!!”  I said to myself.

He was pretty quiet as we continued on to school.  He whimpered a few more times.  Each time I replied, “I’m sorry you’re sad, Boy 2.”  Soon we arrived in the school parking lot.  As Boy 1 hopped out his door and as I unbuckled Boy 2 and took him in my arms to set him on the pavement, he completely forgot that he was sad.  He moved on to another emotion – excitement.  I followed them as they raced into school, then gave them hugs and kisses.  I smiled as I realized that I failed.  That I didn’t control Boy 2 with my various strategies.  I couldn't avoid the power struggle.  I failed - and that’s okay.  Failure is part of the long journey called “Parenting.”

You can’t always avoid a power struggle.  But you can stay composed and calmly go through them with your child.  The alternative only escalates the frustrations of power struggles.  A parent’s ability to stay tranquil through power struggles in the only possible way of diffusing the situation.  And, by staying calm, you begin to model and teach your child how to remain composed during their power struggles and conflicts with others.

Parenting is a difficult path that is full of failure.  It’s hard to stay calm.  But on this journey, remember that failure is okay, indeed, it's inevitable, and then seek to forgive yourself.   For failure is part of the journey.

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"One of the most pressing questions facing the world today is, 'How can we oppose evil without creating new evils and being made evil ourselves?'"

-Walter Wink

It was at the end of our youth group.   Most already left to catch a ride home from their parents, but a few high schoolers remained.  They wanted to discuss Rick Perry’s anti-lgbt commercial called “Strong.”  The video went viral on youtube within hours of its release.  It prompted others to post their own videos on youtube, mocking Perry.  Even Jesus Himself got in the act.

“What Rick Perry said … well … it made me sad,” one of the students said.

“Sad,”  I responded.  “Why sad?”

“Because it’s not Christian.”

Wait.  Wait.  I had to call a time out, because this was powerful.   You know when you have those moments when you sense something big, I mean Big, is about to happen?  I tried to calm my mind so that I could ask a question that would take us further into the Perry controversy.

“What’s not Christian about it?”

“He’s putting down another group.  And he’s saying that gay soldiers who sacrifice their lives for us are somehow deficient.  I don’t care where you stand on the military and war.  That’s not Christian.”

(Note: This young lady is fiery.  She knows where I stand on war, which is why she brought it up.  She’s confrontational, argumentative, and sometimes stubborn.  And she’s all kinds of wonderful.)

“Okay.  Well, how would you respond to Rick Perry.  As a Christian.  Because there are all kinds of people responding to him.  They’re mostly mocking him.  Is that a good Christian response?”

“Well, no.”

I pressed further.  “So, how would you respond?”

“I don’t know,” she replied.  “I’d probably try to listen to his story.  Try to understand where he’s coming from.  Try to reason with him.”

At this point I was feeling bold, so I said something like, “Listening is great.  Do that.  But,” and maybe I should have stopped here, but, I decided to keep going.  “You can’t reason with people.  It won’t work.  He has plenty of ‘reason’ to say what he said.  He’d even quote the bible.  And then you could quote the bible back.  No, the only way for people to change is to see the consequences of their actions.  To see that you’re sad.  Stay sad.  Let people see the hurt.  And then move on.  Leave the sadness and the hurt behind.  Don’t let the hurt own you; let love own you.   Which means don’t fight evil with evil.  That only turns us into the evil we oppose.”

Sad.  I think that’s the right response.  It’s sad because Rick Perry used Jesus to “put down another group,” as my high schooler said.  Still, there is truth in Perry’s commercial.  Faith can make us strong.  But a faith that scapegoats others is the wrong kind of faith.  In fact, it’s a weak, demonic faith.  The faith that will make us strong is a Jesus-like faith that seeks to include others, especially those “others” that make us uncomfortable, into a community of love.  As hard as it is for my feeble heart to admit, Jesus seeks to include Rick Perry into that community too.

A faith that challenges us to love and include those we vehemently disagree with – that kind of faith will make us strong.

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How did you respond to Rick Perry’s video?

Can we “reason” with people who have differing points-of-view?  Why/why not?

What do you think of the statement, “The only way for people to change is to see the consequences of their actions?”

(For insights on the Iowa Caucus and scapegoating, see "A Unique New Year's Resolution and the Iowa Caucus.")