Hating the Sin
I recently wrote a blog titled, “A Christian Support of Same Sex Marriage.” I posted it on Facebook and received a few favorable replies, but there was one somewhat negative response. My Facebook friend posted this:
Love the sinner, hate the sin.
You’ve heard the statement countless times, I’m sure. It’s a cliché. This may surprise you, but I have a certain amount of respect for clichés. Phrases usually become clichés because there is at least a hint of truth in them. Still, “Love the sinner, hate the sin” is a cliché that always rubs me the wrong way.
Here’s my question – Is it possible to “love the sinner, but hate the sin”?
I have my doubts. Let me explain be describing a prevalent tendency I see in American culture. When it comes to “sin” we are trained to associate people with their actions. We could phrase it another way – In American culture we tend to reduce others to their sin. For example, if someone commits a crime, he is labeled a criminal. If someone is addicted to alcohol, she is labeled an alcoholic. If someone is caught lying, he is labeled a liar. There are many other examples, but you get the idea.
Because these labels associate the person with the sin if we hate the sin, then we also hate the sinner. The phrase is then a self-defeating trap that actually justifies our hatred of “sinners.” And it’s an addictive trap, because hate provides a sense of superiority over others. The phrase is a way of distancing ourselves from “sin” by only seeing sin in the “sinner.” We think we are good and righteous because we can compare ourselves with a sinful “other.”
Still, there might be some truth in the cliché.
One truth might be to disassociate the sin from the person committing the sin. If you can do that – well, go for it. I cannot. It takes a spiritual discipline that is beyond my powers. The other truth of the statement could lead us to an awareness that we are all sinners. If we are to “love the sinner, but hate the sin,” then we must recognize the sin that infects us all. This is what Paul was getting at in Romans 1-2. In chapter 1, Paul wrote about a litany of sins committed by those people who “were filled with every kinds of wickedness, evil, covetousness, malice. Full of envy, murder strife, deceit, craftiness, they are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, rebellious toward parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless.”
That’s how Romans 1 ends, and that’s usually where we end, too. But Paul didn’t end there. “Therefore,” he continued, “you have no excuse, whoever you are, when you judge others; for in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, are doing the very same thing.” Paul warns that our judgments against “sinners” make our hearts “hard and impenitent.” In labeling others as sinners we make a judgment against them that blinds us to our own sins. Paul goes on to claim that among humans there is no distinction between “sinner” and “non-sinner” since “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” This is important for Paul because any judgment against another that provides a sense of superiority over them (what Paul frequently calls “boasting”) is a sign that we are caught in sin.
What’s the way out of the trap? I think Paul’s advice is good – becoming aware of our own sin makes room for humility when it comes to the sins of others. But Paul also advises us to move beyond our preoccupation with sin and evil. “Do not be overcome by evil,” Paul wrote in Romans 12:21, “but overcome evil with good.” Evil overcomes us when we get caught up in labeling others as sinners. We overcome that evil when we do good for others, especially those “others” our society labels as “sinners.”
Tebowing, Cruzing, and Bradying - The Admiration of a Football Fan
That’s mimetic.
The “Tebowing” and now “Cruzing” and “Bradying” phenomena are evidence of humanity’s mimetic nature. As René Girard has put forth in developing the “mimetic theory,” humans are the best imitators on the planet. We are so good at imitating, most of the time we don’t even know we are doing it. This non-conscious imitation is how we learn from others. Girard calls the “others” we imitate our models – we admire our models and want to be like them. We want their success, fame, prestige, or fortune. For example, as the above video shows, our culture has begun to dance the salsa in imitation of Victor Cruz’s celebrations after scoring a touchdown. As the announcer in the video says, “The salsa is spreading like an internet virus.” Babies, teenagers, and adults (even a dog!) are imitating Cruz’s victory dance. Not only are we imitating Cruz, but we are imitating others who are imitating Cruz – hence the baby and the dog.
Even Madonna isn’t immune from imitating Cruz.
According to Girard, this imitation is a positive thing because it’s how we learn, but he also claims there is a dark side to this imitation. It can turn very negative. As we imitate one another in the desire for success, fame prestige, or fortune, we can easily fall into rivalry with one another because we desire the same things. Two football teams, let’s take the Giants and the Patriots for example, want the same thing – to win the Super Bowl. After winning, the Giants can celebrate by dancing the salsa, but how do the Patriots feel? Envious. Why? Because they want what the Giants have – success. And here’s the scandal: If you are a Patriots fan, you have a secret admiration for Giants fans. You admire them because they have what you want. Sure you feel a sense of hatred, but behind every hatred is a sense of admiration.
When the other team has what we want, we get frustrated. And frustration always finds an outlet. If we don’t deal with frustration in a positive way, the need for an outlet will either cause internal strife within our community as we blame one another for a loss, or we will find an external outlet. As the video shows, a group of frustrated Patriots’ fans were congregating in Boston after the game. A Giants fan did a little salsa dance, and the group turned into a mob. Its frustrations coalesced on the man and “as he continued to taunt the crowd, he got sucker punched.”
Yes. It was a stupid thing to do. But he was imitating his model, Victor Cruz. Every celebration after a touchdown will be interpreted by the other team as a taunt. As a bit of mockery. In essence we’re saying, “I have what you want.”
And then the ultimate taunt – “Nananananana!”
We imitate winners, but we can also imitate “losers.” Imitating losers can be a positive thing, if we imitate them in order to share in their pain. But it can also be a negative thing, as I think is the case with the “Bradying” phenomenon. Imitating losers is often a way of mocking them – but we only mock those we secretly admire. We admire our models and our rivals. In fact, our rival is also our model, for we want what our rival has. Football fans admire Tom Brady because he has the success we all want. Playing in five Super Bowls and winning three of them is an amazing career. We envy Brady because we want the success he’s had. And so when he fails we mock him. We imitate one another in mocking him in order to keep him down. For when our rival is down, we are up.
We admire both our models and our rivals. We want what they have, which can lead to rivalry, and even to violence. Now, you may be searching for an answer to all of this negative imitation that’s going on. Fortunately, there is an answer – but, I’ll tell you up front, few people like it. It’s not glamorous. And it’s hard work. If you want to transform this negative imitation into a positive imitation, the answer is in identifying with cultural “losers” in a way that feels their pain. Few people want to do that. We’d rather do a salsa dance – and keep others from dancing with us.
Giants and Patriots fans, after all, don’t dance together.
Response To Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus
Did Jesus come to abolish religion? Should we hate religion? In a video posted to youtube last week titled "Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus" Jefferson Bethke argues Jesus did come to abolish religion and that we are justified to hate religion. But is that true? A close look at the life of Jesus says something very different.
To view Bethke's video, click here.
The Redemption of the Grinch
“Give me your grinchiest look,” I said.
And he did.
My kids are watching the shows I grew up with. Is it shallow to say that this is one of my greatest experiences as a parent?
Birth. And then the Grinch.
I. Love. It.
My Wife has this call and response thing going on with our Youngest Son.
She’ll start, “You’re a mean one…”
And he responds, “Mr. Grinch!”
It’s one of those beautiful family moments that make us all smile.
Now that I’m watching these shows as an adult, I interpret them in a different light. Let’s stay with The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. “Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot, but the Grinch who lived just north of Whoville did not.”
You know the story, but here’s a little refresher: The Grinch hated Christmas, the whole Christmas season. We are told that no one know just why, but most likely because his heart was two sizes too small. And those Whos down in Whoville, they were so loud in their Christmas celebrations, which drove the Grinch nuts. He hated the Whos. The Grinch devised a plan to stop all that Who noise. He came up with an awful idea, a wonderful, awful idea. He tried to stop Christmas from coming by stealing the Whos’ presents, Christmas trees, and food. Well, you know that by the end his heart grew and he was transformed.
But how did it happen?
I’d like to explore with you how Dr. Suess could have told the story. After the Grinch stole Christmas, the Whos could have united in hatred against the Grinch. You can imagine the Whos coming together and yelling, “The Grinch hates us! Well we hate the Grinch!” That’s how hate works. Once hate is unleashed, it spreads like a contagious disease, infecting ourselves and our relationships. United in their hatred the Whos could have come after the Grinch with pitch forks and guns. (Can you imagine little Cindy Lou Who running after the Grinch with a glock?) The Whos could have gotten a little Who justice. They could have taught the Grinch a lesson by locking him up in Who jail.
MSNBC would have loved that!
Of course, the Whos reflected hatred of the Grinch would have only increased his hatred for them. He would have become even grinchier … and then the Whos hatred of the Grinch would have increased even more until soon Whoville would have suffered from Who Armageddon!
Dr. Seuss could have told that story, but, fortunately for us, he wanted to tell a story of redemption. Anthropological genius that he was, Dr. Seuss shows us the only way to redemption. You see, hate can spread throughout a community, but so can love. In order for our hearts to grow, we need to see the big, loving hearts of others. The Whos didn’t fall into the Grinch’s trap of hatred. They didn’t allow his hate to infect their lives. Rather, they modeled a different way of life: A life of community, joy, and love. When the Grinch saw their Christmas joy as they stood hand in hand welcoming Christmas, his heart grew.
And when the Grinch brought back their toys, Christmas trees, and food, the Whos made space for the Grinch. He joined their Christmas celebration and he ate at their table.
Near the end of the movie, the Whos sing in the presence of the Grinch, “Welcome Christmas, while we stand heart to heart and hand in hand.”
In part, that’s what Christmas is about. Making space for the Grinches in our lives and hoping that maybe, just maybe, even our own Grinchy hearts will grow.
(You can watch Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas below.)
The Casey Anthony Verdict: Is the Devil Dancing?
Emotions have been running high since last week’s acquittal of Casey Anthony in the murder trial of her two year old daughter Caylee Anthony. Many have lived with this case since Caylee’s murder three years ago. The case has been a media sensation for many reasons, one being that Casey Anthony has made for a very good villain. She is portrayed as monster of a human being – a mother who would rather party and hook up with men than care for her daughter. She lied to police and investigators at the beginning of their investigation into Caylee’s whereabouts. Public opinion turned against her as she was seen partying just hours after her daughter went missing.
As the father of a boy who just turned three and another boy soon to turn 5, I understand the extreme emotions felt by many throughout the country when Casey Anthony was acquitted of the murder. But, the facts remain that, for one reason or another, the case against Casey was weak. As John Cloud of Time Magazine states, “Casey Anthony is guilty of many things. She is an enthusiastic liar. She was an indifferent mother. She mooched off her overindulgent parents for years. Even after her daughter went missing, Anthony partied and got a tattoo. But the state of Florida did not make a good case that Anthony murdered her daughter. In acquitting Anthony, the jury made the right call.”
The jury not only made the right call, but it was also a very brave call. They knew the high emotions of the American public riding on this trial. We wanted a guilty verdict so that we could know justice had been done. So, an acquittal meant that, for many of us, justice failed. One prominent television talk show host on a major new network put it like this: “there's something wrong with that. Because Caylee — is dead. And her body decomposed, 15 houses away from where the Anthonys put their head on the pillow every night, every day searching, searching for this little girl. Now I know, I know it is our duty as American citizens to respect the jury system. And I do, believe me I do ... But I know one thing. As the defense sits by and has their champagne toast after that not guilty verdict? Somewhere out there, the devil is dancing tonight.”
I think this commentator is right - the devil is dancing, but for reasons the speaker is blind to. The devil is not so much a red mythological figure personified with horns and a pitchfork. No. The devil is so much more dangerous than that. The devil is symbolic of a way of life that paradoxically leads to chaos and to order. As Mark Heim writes in his book Saved from Sacrifice, “Satan is the sower of discord and also the bringer of order. The devil delights in nothing so much as in instigating conflict among humans” (148).
The devil continues to dance because the seeds of conflict continue to be sown, and those of us on the side of “justice” are not innocent. We sow those seeds. For many of us, justice means retribution, which is a nice word for revenge. The satanically mimetic pull of uniting against a common enemy is in motion. We are thus well ordered in uniting against Anthony for a crime that can’t be proven. We have already begun to unite against a jury which made an honest and brave decision based on the lack of evidence put forward by the state of Florida. They made that decision with great risk, as jurors have even been threatened with murder, one by her co-workers!
We hate Casey and we hate the jury with a mimetically shared and uniting hatred. That hatred blinds us to our own corrupt desires for revenge and violence that we validate in the name of “justice.” And, indeed, that hatred, and that form of justice, is the song that causes the devil to dance.