4 replies
  1. Pablo
    Pablo says:

    I am a Catholic and first learned of T.O.B. thrgouh Christopher West but don’t know much about it although I have read 3 or 4 books that graced over it. So, Sex is marriage and marriage is sex, ?? Hmm. It’s an interesting point of view. I could imagine that penguins think that sex is marriage and marriage is sex. After all, they find one mate for life, and the sole purpose of that union is procreation. But unlike penguins, humans have been given the advantage of having a conscience and a soul, and those gifts infuse every facet of life. So when I think of an ideal marriage, Galatians 5:22-23 comes to mind, But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. A healthy marriage, to me, would seek to bring about all of the fruits of spirit, not just one fruitful act.So, I think I have to disagree with the statement.

    • Adam Ericksen
      Adam Ericksen says:

      Hi Pablo. I totally agree with you about a healthy marriage involving much more than the one “fruitful” act. (I like how you delicately put that!) Basically, what I try to do with my youth group (and adults!) is not to say that something like “you can’t have sex until you’re married!” because the “no” inflames the desire. I do say that the biblical wisdom of sex is about two people becoming one flesh. What does it mean to become “one” with another? As you point out, it should look a lot like Galatians 5. The point about sex as marriage comes from Exodus 22, which I fully admit can be interpreted differently, but that says, “If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife.” (Deuteronomy 22 says something similar.) I interpret that to mean that if you are going to have sex before marriage, you had better plan to be married, as you have decided to become one flesh – and take responsibility to live into all that it means to become one flesh. I’ll look into Christopher West. Thanks for that name!


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